The XX

iphone

Shit Talk

1) Sounds like bull shit to me
2) I don't give a shit
3) Shit Ass
4)I don't believe this shit
5) are you giving me shit?
6)this shit is good
7)don't ask me for shit
8)full of shit
9)bull shit
10)good shit
11)shit shit shit
12)your breath smells like shit
13)shit happens
14)what is this shit?
15)cut that shit out
16)what a hunk of shit
17) shit out of luck
18)your shit stinks
19) get your shit together
20) Fucking shit

Soup and bread

 

PALS

I am so happy nothing can bring me down

I think it's time I bought you a suit
The jacket fits right, the lining is wool
I do try to look good for you
If you love me you would try too


Save your money, spend it slowly
Don't keep waiting for things to change
Stay on with me, Milk & Honey
Follow you into our old age


Why can't you be what I want you to be?
You've got nothing going
Will you ever throw in?
Is it ever going to be easy going?

When the sun comes up

I am going to stop moving my body

Thesis:

"I am going to stop moving my body"

Research:


Numb for six hours

I lost control of my face

My eyes won't close

I can't wiggle my nose
My mouth won't move

Conclusion:

Not being able to smile would be the death of me

Spring Sun

Waterfall

Besides being super frustrated

 I couldn't capture the waterfall

these turned out lovely

Dreams

My Dreams have been extremely vivid lately, and sometimes I feel like I'm not getting any sleep. They feel so real that i forget that It is just a dream. People have always told me I should have a book to write my dreams in but it would probably be just a jumbled mess considering I have a hard enough time writing about reality. 


Here is a dream a friend had about me :)


"i had a dream about you...people were dying and we had to keep running and running so we wouldn't die and at the end we were trying to climb this wall to survive and you were tired. i tried helping you and u gave up and sat on the ground you didn't want to run anymore i was already up and over and i just screamed for you and cried and cried that i needed you and loved you...it was sooooo real!!"

its what they dont say
 thats what counts
is counting
how you show what counts

Spring

In a state of delirium and stupidity

while being rushed to the E.R. last week.

  I asked if we could stop and take pictures with the trees

Thankfully I had a chance to come back

and capture what I saw that day

  

  

Juggling monkey

I need a bigger back pack! All in working condition, which is awesome!

Digital Canon Rebel XTI

Film Canon Rebel X

Polaroid Fujifilm Instax 210

Film Pentax Auto 110 

I'm trying to break your heart

I'm hiding out in the big city blinking

Then I fell asleep and the city kept  blinking

Broken Social Scene

Hot Springs

                                        I wasn't prepared for how life changing this day was.

Forest Park

This was a couple weeks back at forest park at a abandon building

The Film Versions turned out way more colorful.

Things I haven't felt in a while

 some old poems i found that I wrote. i kinda enjoyed them besides that I rhymed a lot.

Dirty Emotions
hardly let me breathe
I can't even go through the motions
only thing i can do is grieve
there is no where to hide
I can't sleep
trust me, I've tried
all i can do is curl up and sit tight
I can't seem to leave them behind
I'm stuck in this dirty emotion mind.  

Green Eyes
I saw the pain
the concern
every thought through those eyes
you didn't even need to tell me
silence would have been fine.
I saw what you needed
but you said what I wanted
I know you just wanted the best for me
but all I wanted was the truth
please no more lies
I can't see right through those big green eyes.

Portland

Starfucker , Mystery cloud

goddamn electric bill

 

I don't know who said this but I dig

"whats wrong with you....
who ever you are
your a chicken!
you've got no guts .
your afraid to stick out your chin and say okay life's a fact
...people do fall in love.
people do belong to each other
because that's the only chance anybody's got with real happiness
you call yourself a free spirit
a wild thing.
your terrified someones gonna stick you in a cage
maybe your already in that cage
and you built it yourself.
it's not bound by Texas or by the east of Somalia
it's where ever you go
because no matter where you run
you just end up running into your self."

Theodore

Drunk Talk II

One of the things I hate....
 talking to drunk people 
and having drunk talk


So I decided to record my self at my darkest moments of being drunk.
This is a record of my drunk talk to my self over a course of a month


This is a wonderful love,
 A love I don't want to lose
I Just need to find some balance
Perfect silence
I am overwhelmed
 I do nothing
I hear the laughing
Things are shifting
but still looking good
I lay myself down
next to the trains
I put my self in weird situations
always coming back for more
Its easy to let go
to let your self drown 
It's hard to hold your self back
and watch others lose control
when no one is looking
Everyone is touching,
giving me a look
like they know me,
like they are the ones who appreciate me
you whisper to me
you are so tender
but we all know
Everyone one is fading
nothing left in common
Memories echoing in my mind
can't focus on anything but
"to the good ol' days"

Tattoo

 

Apathy

"It was always a blur of pain and fear and domination. I remembered it, and could only deal with it afterwords, as a collection of warped Polaroids stapled to the inside of my head"

Paul Neilan

Dead Reeds & Steel

 According to the guy at the camera store
you can't find Polaroid film in the WHOLE world

What a spectacular day to be alive

People mean more then what they actually say

"what's wrong?"
she said to me when no one was looking.
I reply with a sigh ,
"I'm tired of everyone falling in love with me. I just need friends who love me"
She smiles and says,
"I'm not in love with you, but I love you"
My heart sank,
I'm in love with her.

goodwill

I asked the lady to see some things in the glass case
I can only imagine what type of girl she thought i was
The Polaroid taking...video gamer....who wants a ring....type of girl

Drunk Talk is Bullshit

One of the things I hate....
 talking to drunk people 
and having drunk talk

So I decided to record my self at my darkest moments of being drunk.
This is a record of my drunk talk to my self over a course of a month
each line is a separate text I sent to my self in order.

It's over
I hate you
Your a fool
a fucking fool
How long do i wait for nothing
I no longer feel the awkward obligation to fill silent spaces with mindless self centered chatter
give him the money
give him the money
Fuck
 Fuck!
what do i do
 What emotion should i trust more
I can't change
Sleep.... Sleep.... Sleep....
I can hear your voice
Deeper
Deeper
I need you
I'm insane
Deeper into insanity...
how is anyone suppose to see past it?
fuck you
i'm there
i'm here
i'm breaking
I want all four of you
you choose to be alone
your just mad cause you fucked up on purpose
we are all here
the thinker the performer the lover and the artist
the old and the new, with rain, snow, sun, and fog
I lost my heat
Taurus
meet me on the warm side of the moon
U there?
shits getting weird
i'm shaking like a leaf
Just dance just dance just dance
i never thought i would stay any place to long but maybe i'll stay here
i drank again
u made me an ugly person
I've got a long journey alone
to hell to heaven and back
i forgot what to say...
cut the shit lets get real
drunk talk is bullshit!

good morning sasha

Even before I can open my eyes

I feel this heavy weight on my chest 

I feel like I have only few grasps of breath left

I wake up to this  feeling more times then i can count

I changed my hair cause i thought it might bring Katie back....

mixing up what you really feel

Someone.....
wish i could remember who....
told me I was happier then usual and smiling alot that day
When earlier that day I felt like i would never smile again


 I don't know how good i am at hiding my emotions
sometimes I'm good at pretending
apparently i over acted

I hate english

It's best if you don't correct my spelling
You still know what i mean and that is more important. 

Washington D.C.

I met this guy recently that has the most interesting reaction to music that i've ever known.
The typical reaction would be dancing or moving your head or tapping your foot. 
His reaction is to make art with spoons and forks. He works off the vibes of the music and he produces some really beautiful sculptures.

Lets start an onion farm darling